Why Does My Baby Cry When I Put Them Down? The Real Reasons and How to Help

LUMO
2026-03-24T14:34:29-04:00

If your baby starts crying the moment you set them in the crib, playmat, or baby bouncer, you’re not alone. Whether you're trying to grab a quick shower, make a cup of coffee, or just stretch your arms, many new parents face this same moment: baby crying when put down.

But here’s the truth: it’s completely normal. And understanding why this happens can make the difference between feeling helpless and feeling empowered.

Is It Normal That My Baby Cries When I Put Them Down?

Yes, completely. Your baby isn’t trying to make life difficult they’re simply following their natural instincts. In the womb, they were constantly surrounded by warmth, movement, and your heartbeat. Outside the womb, being placed down alone can feel cold and unfamiliar.

This instinctual behavior is rooted in their biology and early brain development, not bad habits or poor parenting.

Why Does My Baby Cry When I Put Them Down?

Let’s break it down. There are several developmental and emotional reasons for this response. Understanding each can help you respond with confidence and care.

1. They Crave Physical Closeness

Babies are born needing closeness. From an evolutionary perspective, staying near a caregiver meant survival. Your newborn doesn’t know the difference between a modern nursery and the wild, they just know they feel safest when they’re with you.

Holding, cuddling, and babywearing fulfill this fundamental need for safety and attachment.

2. They Don’t Understand Object Permanence Yet

Your baby may think you’re gone if they can’t see or feel you. This is due to their lack of object permanence, the ability to understand that things still exist even when out of sight.

This ability develops over the first two years of life and goes through stages:

0-4 months: If they can’t see you, you no longer exist (in their mind).

4-8 months: May look for partially hidden objects.

8-12 months: Will begin to search for fully hidden objects and may show separation anxiety.

12-24 months: Object permanence is fully developed.

This is why babywearing helps so much because they know you’re there, feel your heartbeat, and can relax.

3. They’re Startled by the Change

Newborns have a strong Moro reflex (startle reflex), where they fling out their arms when feeling a sudden shift. The act of being laid down can trigger this reflex, especially if the surface is cooler or firmer than your warm body.

This explains why babies often wake the second their body touches the crib mattress.

4. They’re in a Fussy Period or Experiencing “Purple Crying”

Between 2 weeks and 3-4 months, many babies enter a fussy phase that peaks around 6 weeks old. Known as the period of PURPLE crying, it’s characterized by:

Peak of crying

Unexpected timing

Resists soothing

Pain-like face

Long-lasting crying

Evening fussiness

Even being held may not immediately calm them, but putting them down often escalates it.

5. Discomfort or Overstimulation

Sometimes, babies cry when laid down because of something physical:

Dirty diaper

Gas or colic

Reflux or tummy discomfort

Feeling too hot or too cold

Being overstimulated by lights, sounds, or motion

Comforting contact in a carrier or bouncer may help reset their sensory system.

When Baby Cries in the Crib or Bouncer

Many parents say: “My baby cries as soon as I put them in the crib” or “My baby cries when I place her on the playmat.”

This is super common because these places, while safe, remove the physical closeness your baby relies on. The Ergobaby Evolve 3-in-1 Bouncer is a great transitional tool, especially for those moments when you need both hands but want baby nearby in a secure, ergonomic position.

Try these strategies:

Warm the crib sheet with a heating pad (always test with your hand and never place baby on a surface that feels warm to your touch).

Place a worn t-shirt or muslin near them (safely) so your scent offers comfort.

Gently rock baby in the bouncer before stepping away but while staying close enough.

How to Soothe a Baby That Cries When Put Down

Here are practical and expert backed strategies to help ease this transition for both you and baby.

1. Wear Your Baby

Use an ergonomic baby carrier like the Omni Deluxe or Embrace from Ergobaby. It’s the closest thing to the womb feeling so warm and snuggly. Babywearing not only soothes crying but promotes bonding, supports breastfeeding, and reduces colic symptoms.

2. Try a Transitional Tool Like a Bouncer

The Ergobaby Bouncer is designed for ergonomic support from day one as it comes with an infant insert. Use it when your arms need a rest or you’re cooking, showering, or eating. The natural rocking motion soothes without batteries or noise and it grows with your baby into toddlerhood. Always supervise your baby in the bouncer and follow JPMA and manufacture safety guidelines.

3. Respond to Cues Early

Learn your baby’s signals before the full cry hits. Fussing, turning their head, or fluttering their eyelids may be signs they’re uncomfortable or need contact. Respond early and calmly.

4. Play Peek-a-Boo and Object Hiding Games

These support the development of object permanence. Make it a fun game to disappear, and reappear, it teaches them that separation isn’t permanent.

5. Swaddle Smartly

A secure swaddle can help calm the Moro reflex and mimic the snugness of being held.

6. Create a Soothing Routine

Even from the newborn stage, babies thrive on predictability. A simple wind down routine before nap time (dim lights, white noise, gentle rocking) helps signal safety even when they’re not in your arms.

Will My Baby Grow Out of Crying When Put Down?

Yes...eventually. As their brain matures, they will:

Develop object permanence

Learn self-soothing skills

Trust that you’ll always come back

Feel comforted by routines and surroundings

For some babies, this shift happens at 6 months. For others, it may take longer. Separation anxiety may even peak again around 9-12 months but it passes with consistency and reassurance.

Real Life Scenarios and Solutions

Baby Wakes Up When Put in Crib

Why: Startle reflex or discomfort
Try: Swaddling, wait until they are in a deep sleep stage, lower gently feet first.

Baby Cries When Put Down During Daytime

Why: Needs closeness or bored
Try: Use a baby carrier or move to a bouncer where they can see you.

Baby Screams When Laid Down After Feeding

Why: Reflux or gas
Try: Keep baby upright for 20-30 minutes after feeding, use a slight incline in a bouncer but ensure they don’t fall asleep while in the bouncer.

You’re Not “Spoiling” Your Baby, You’re Supporting Them

Let’s bust a myth: Holding your baby too much does NOT spoil them. Babies cry when put down not to manipulate, but to communicate. You’re teaching them trust, safety, and connection. And with the right tools, you can support their needs while meeting your own.

The Ergobaby Solution: Tools for Closeness (and your Sanity)

Whether you’re babywearing, bouncing, or swaddling, Ergobaby has thoughtfully designed products that help you keep baby close, safely and comfortably.

Omni Deluxe Baby Carrier: Breathable mesh comfort for all day babywearing

Evolve 3-in-1 Bouncer: From newborn to toddler, supports ergonomically as they grow

Ergobaby Swaddlers: Escape proof, cozy, and offer easy diaper changes

This Phase Won’t Last Forever

It may feel exhausting when your baby only wants to be held, but this phase is fleeting. By understanding the science behind your baby’s cries and responding with patience, presence, and support, you’re laying the foundation for a secure, confident child.

You’re not “failing” if your baby cries when put down. You’re being a responsive, amazing parent.